Friday, March 2, 2012

Booty: Seeking Experienced Sea Captain

Buxom, stylish and well-spoken Englishwoman seeks naval commander of experience.

Currently in a marriage of some convenience and living abroad. Both are easy work-arounds. Willing to travel, and dress like a midshipman while doing so. Slightly fading looks offset by charm, wit and shameless willingness to do just about anything.

Ideal man will be captain with impressive record. Wounds and amputations a plus. Must be willing to risk career, marriage and social standing for me. Peerage preferable; potential for future titles a must. Gifts of all kinds including but not limited to jewels, gowns, hounds, horses and estates easily accepted and generously rewarded.

Must be English; no exceptions.

Contact Emma, Lady Hamilton, Palazzo Sessa, Naples, Italy.

Looking for your own sea captain, perhaps one just like Lady Hamilton’s Horatio? Well don’t hold your breath. If, however, you are willing to adjust your expectations, there is an honest-to-goodness website where both women and men can find seafaring leaders online. As this article at Jezebel (sent to me by ever vigilant Triple P supporter and member of the Brethren Dwight) points out, Sea Captain Date is a real, live “thing”.

Note: Unlike other sites mentioned here, I have no experience with SCD and cannot vouch for its integrity. Caveat emptor, so to say. And should you find your master and commander, I wish you a much, much better outcome than that of the star-crossed Emma and Horatio.

Header: Emma Hamilton as a Bacchante by Elisabeth Vigée-Lebrun


Timmy! said...

Ahoy, Pauline! That is a funny post on so many levels.

Unfortunately, I think the fantasy is probably better than the reality with this website (as it is with most things in life, or so it seems)...

Pauline said...

Yeah, the site itself is a little offputting, I find.

At least Emma was a good sport about the whole thing :)