Booty: "Absolute Divine Beings"

I've talked about my friend Laurel before. She is a tremendous person and a much appreciated supporter of Triple P. So much so, in fact, that she found the little tidbit we are going to discuss today and emailed me about it. I'm proud to know her.

The article she sent me is on the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (shown above) in general and regarding the Pastafarian's specific ideas about pirates. Read that sentence again and then we'll continue.

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was established in 2005 by Bobby Henderson as a humble protest to the Kansas State Board of Education's proposal to teach "intelligent design" in schools as a viable alternative to evolution.

You can read the Wikipedia post if you would like to know more. But here, specifically, is what Pastafarians have to say about pirates, buccaneers, privateers and the like. From the article:

According to the Pastafarian belief system, pirates are "absolute divine beings" and the original Pastafarians. Their image as "thieves and outcasts" is misinformation spread by Christian theologians in the Middle Ages and Hare Krishnas. Pastafarianism says that they were in fact "peace-loving explorers and spreaders of good will" who distributed candy to small children, and adds that modern pirates are in no way similar to "the fun-loving buccaneers of history". Pastafarians celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day on September 19.

Well of course they do. But it doesn't stop there. As this chart indicates, the gospel is even more complex. The article goes on:
The inclusion of pirates in Pastafarianism was part of Henderson's original letter to the Kansas School Board. It illustrated that correlation does not imply causation. Henderson put forth the argument that "global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of pirates since the 1800s."

According to the post, Henderson also has a theory about continued so-called "pirate" activity in the current era:

In 2008, Henderson interpreted the growing pirate activities at the Gulf of Aden as additional support, pointing out that Somalia has "the highest number of Pirates AND the lowest Carbon emissions of any country."

Since the chart shows that there are still 17 "fun-loving buccaneers" around, I have to assume that I'm one of them. Enjoy your Friday the 13th, Brethren. I hope something divinely piratical comes your way today!