Booty: From Wench to Queen

It's that time again Brethren; two weeks until NOLA Pyrate Week. Brought to you by the hard work and good graces of the unsinkable Captain Swallow and Quartermaster Seika Hellbound, all things piratical will be swarming the streets of chère New Orleans beginning March 23rd.


This time around, however, a new feature has been added. As the official poster above suggests, it’s the Louisiana Pyrate Wench Pageant and contestants are wanted. Are you planning a trip to NOLA at the end of the month, or are you already one of the lucky ladies who lives in or around my ancestral home? Think you know a thing or two about piratical history and Louisiana lore? Got a costume that would make Anne Bonny hide her head in shame and drink herself into a stupor? Speaking of which, can you drink the average pirate under the table? Then this is the pageant for you. Show those skinny runway lasses that a true pirate wench has more than meets the eye and sign up here. That undeniably glorious Swarovski crystal crown is only a little swagger, a little attitude and a little knowledge away.

Go for it, wenches; your chances are pretty good this year. After all, I – to my great chagrin – cannot be there.

Header: Louisiana Pyrate Wench Pageant poster via NOLA Pyrate Week