Friday, August 26, 2011

Booty: Terrifying Pirates

Last Friday, much to my surprise and delight, the good folks at Cracked.com produce an article entitled the “The 7 Most Terrifying Pirates from History”. The title in and of itself has a wry humor to it: “pirates from history” rather than “historical pirates” makes it sound rather like History offers these guys at her restaurant, probably under the seafood portion of the menu. But, rereading that sentence, that may just be my own warped sense of humor coming through.


The article includes such familiar-to-the-Brethren favorites as Bartholomew Roberts, Blackbeard and Benjamin Hornigold and hits the usual “high notes” as far as what each man achieved in the way of a blood soaked “short life but merry one.” Some curiosities do jump out to those who have a particular interest in piratical scholarship, however.

It is gratifying to see both Francois L’Olonnais and Jean “Lafitte” (misspelled; again) on the list. Even a casual Cracked reader will know that labeling not just one but two Frenchmen “terrifying” was probably a painful exercise for their writers. I personally would have ranked L’Olonnais much higher, if it were up to me. The crazy adds to the terrifying exponentially. I also salute Cracked for including William Dampier; he, much like Hornigold, rarely gets the press he deserves.

The surprising addition of Stephen Decatur jumped out at me immediately as well. Though undeniably terrifying to his enemies, the Hero of both Barbary Wars would surely have bristled at being called a “pirate” which, in all fairness, he was not.

Not surprisingly there is the usual sloppy failure to mention either Uruj or Pierre, the equally important brothers of Khair ad-Din Barbarossa and Jean Laffite.

But that’s all splitting hairs. The point is the funny, after all, and the post certainly brings that. Then too, their choice of a certain familiar site for at least some of their research gets them extra credit on this assignment.  Happy Friday, Brethren!

Header: Dead Men Tell No Tales by Howard Pyle

8 comments:

  1. L'Olonnais, for certain... that was one crazy sonofagun. Psychotic, even. He gets my top vote.

    Decatur, terrifying? (Certainly NOT piratical) Determined, successful, righteous, heroic, inspired, courageous... I wouldn't call him terrifying, though. Professional, like good Naval Officers aspire to be ;-)

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  2. I agree with your assessment 100%, Wally. Decatur, in particular, seems out of place among these questionable characters. But then, as Jean Laffite famously remarked, one man's pirate is another man's privateer.

    All that aside, the Man from Olon was one psychotic Frenchman. I wonder is he and I are related?

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  3. Ahoy, Pauline! Props to you for being linked in this article. Looks to me like the folks at Cracked.com have been reading your blog and basically just re-posted a bunch of stuff you already wrote, but hey, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?

    And L’Olonnais most definitely always brings the crazy to the party...

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  4. Actually, for all my little quibbles, I was just glad to see a very popular website tell people a little bit about some unfortuantely neglected but fascinating historical characters. Good on ya, Cracked.com!

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  5. William Dampier does often get overlooked doesn't he?

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  6. Absolutely, dfordoom; especially when one considers how much he left in the way of personal accounts.

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  7. I was surprised at the inclusion of Decatur, sure wouldn't call him terrifying; clever and brave, yes. And Jean Laffite was terrifying only to the crewmen who dared usurp his rules, particularly at Galveston, where he hanged some.

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  8. I understand where you're coming from. Now it's all about the legend of the terrible Jean Laffite. But as you point out, Ozarklorian, he was only terrible where it counted most.

    Does anyone imagine Pierre had the same issues, or what ever one might call them? He seems like a playboy of sorts to me, but that may just be my own imagining.

    Amazing people who I imagine we will never really know. And now, I'm just rambling...

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