That out of the way, I was recently rewatching my new favorite episode of “Deadliest Warrior” on Spike TV (narrowly edging out the glorious Sun Tzu vs. Vlad the Impaler). This is the one where my favorite Saint, the delightfully spunky Jeanne d’Arc (Joan of Arc to you Anglais), kicks Norman butt on William the Conqueror (aka “the Bastard”). How does that feel, Viking boy? Anyway, click here to see the panel discussing the battle in detail as it appears that the full episode is not yet available online.
While I enjoyed the splendor that is a seventeen year old peasant girl wreaking havoc on a seasoned veteran of Medieval warfare, a commercial break interrupted my reverie. But hark, what is this? Why, it’s our old friend Captain Morgan.
There he is, waking up in his hammock with a lady friend – who isn’t so easily roused – at his side. Up on deck he climbs to find his ship threatened by a Spanish galleon. But the sly Captain has a plan. Out the handy plank he walks, as if he were the captive and not the leader of this rabble, and then a silent pause. The Captain effortlessly manages a perfectly executed forward double right into the briny deep and the Spanish give him a nice round of applause. He is welcomed aboard the galleon and pirate and Spaniard share a tot of Captain Morgan’s rum. Good times! Finally the “new” slogan: “To Life, Love and Loot!”
Here is the (almost) full commercial on YouTube. Though I could go on, I’ll just say that I have no earthly desire to ever see the real Henry Morgan in anything close to that state of undress, thank you very much. You can’t ever beat pirate-centric fun, though.
And, on a completely unrelated note, if anyone has any curiosity about what Pauline might write other than seafaring tales and piratical stories, I’m happy to share. Find my entry to 49 Writing Center’s “Ode to a Dead Salmon Bad Writing Contest” entitled The Horror: A Tale of Dismemberment at their website. If you like it, consider stopping by again when voting for the contest opens.
Happy Friday, Brethren. Whether you’re inspired by St. Jeanne, Captain Morgan, Edgar A. Poe or just anyone, get out there and kick some butt!
Header: Joan of Arc Win sticker via Get Glue Stickers
“To Life, Love and Loot!” I may have them put that on my tombstone when I finally turn up my toes. It's probably much more agreeable than any epitaph my nearest and dearest would create for me.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'll be voting for your fine dead fish tribute, and I hope you win. That looks like a...truly memorable t-shirt.
Undine, my darling, I do love you so!
ReplyDeleteAhoy, Pauline! Sorry it has taken me so long to get to the blog this weekend. Between work and home improvement projects, I'm not sure how you have even had time to post.
ReplyDeleteThat having been said, thanks for such a "bootiful" and amusing post. You know I'll be voting for, Cap'n.
You have to enjoy St. Jeanne if you live at my house. And yes please; vote for me!
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